Caramelized Brussel Sprouts (or sprouty brussels…whatever)

So lets be serious…this is a veg. A vegetable is a vegetable is a vegetable. And there is no way to disguise this green goodness as unhealthy (trust me I tried), but I will try anything once, especially if it is caramelized and there is garlic involved. Garlic is my #3 man (Marlee, onions, garlic)

Truthfully, the only way I will eat these again is if bacon is involved. I shouldve gone with my gut and used bacon in this recipe the first time, but we learn from our mistakes. They were decent, but I guess I’m just not a sprouts lover. Because I believe in second chances there are alternate versions of this recipe that call for bacon and/or brown sugar that I will probably end up trying (Bacon, brown sugar, orgasm). This is less of a recipe post and more of me just showing off my awesome caramelizing skills. I mean, look at those things. Okay, but really:

1/2 lb brussell sprouts 
1/4 cup EVOO
s + p
DASH balsamic
DASH parmesan
 *** red pepper flakes


Heat your pan over medium heat, and add half of your EVOO. Cut the choke (bottom part; this is what gives it the bitter taste) off of your sprouts and wash thoroughly; then quarter or halve them depending on their size.  After your pan has heated up add your sprouts cut side down & cover. During this time I like to play a little drinking game called how much wine can you drink in 3 minutes.

hello darlings

Next, season with your garlic, s + p.  I can’t really give you an exact measurement of how much garlic I used; but I’m going to say around 7 tons. Not joking. If you aren’t trying to ward away the vampires I’d say 3-4 tbsp. is good. Cover for another 3 minutes; you should start to see some caramelizing. I then add a few sprinkles of water, toss the sprouts around in the pan (like Emril does on tv) and re-cover. It’s quite boring actually. Throw a little balsamic in, a little more s + p, cover, repeat, bleh bleh bleh. ***If you’re feeling sassy now would be a good time to add some red pepper flakes

Once they’re nicely caramelized I like to throw a little Parmesan on top; it helps negate the fact that these bad boys soak up all my attempts at seasoning. If I were drinking it would make me wonder if I remembered to season them at all in the first place….

Really though; it’s a recipe worth trying. Sprouts are a great source of protein, potassium, and calcium. I really do want to start incorporating more healthy foods into my meals; but in a fun way. It’s a tiny bit (immensely) overwhelming to think about the fact that I am in my mid 20’s — this is the best I’ll probably ever look and feel and I eat like shit and won’t step on a treadmill for diamonds or gold. Thinking about it is almost enough to make me want to get my act together. Sort of. Nevermind.

That being said (already forgotten), if anyone has a recipe for brussell sprouts that contain any of  my other favorite foods let a sista know (pickles, cheese, bacon, sour cream, alcohol….)


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